Love Cafe Q&A

Heartbroken ex-boyfriend

July 5, 2014
I’ve broken up with my long-term boyfriend recently, but we can’t stop talking since the breakup. I made it clear to him that I just wanted a casual/physical relationship (no labels), nothing serious. He was completely fine with it when we agreed. While casually seeing him, I was also fooling around with other guys. When I told him about it, he seemed heartbroken. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I also understand that we agreed on having just a casual relationship. Any suggestions?

We will go long-term?

July 13, 2014
My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for almost a year. He goes away for 3 weeks to go on vacation with his family to China. When I saw him right when he came back, I looked through pictures of their trip and his mom told me, “half of China knows who you are because he told everyone that he had a girlfriend who was from Hong Kong.” I feel really flattered and proud to be his girlfriend. Should I take that as a signal that our relationship will go long-term?

Having trouble asking someone out

July 18, 2014
I’m shy and I’m having trouble asking people out. What advice can you give me to ask this cute guy out I like?

Should I tell my parents I have a boyfriend

August 19, 2014
I've recently started seeing a guy (this is the first relationship I've ever been in), and I was wondering: when (or even if) should I tell my parents about him? I'm afraid they might not approve of him, or they might start asking uncomfortable questions. But at the same time, I don't want to be keeping things from them; this relationship is something I'm excited and happy about.

Best friend and I like the same guy

August 20, 2014
One of my best friends and I like the same guy. What should we do?

Sometimes I cry after sex

July 15, 2014
Sometimes I cry after sex. Is this normal?

I have talked to people who cry after sex. Some because they feel so emotionally happy and overwhelmed after sex and/or orgasm and the feelings get expressed in tears. A few have cried because they felt guilty about being sexually active. You are not alone in crying after sex.

How do I avoid the "friend zone?"

July 17, 2014
Is there a window of opportunity to ask a girl on a date before they put you in the friend zone? I’ve never actually been on a date with a girl before, because I want to be friends/talk to them for a while to get to know them a little bit before working up the courage to ask them out. However, they usually end up saying they only think of me as a friend when I ask them eventually. Am I approaching this the right way or should I ask them out before we establish too much of a connection or what?

I have a smelly roommate

July 21, 2014
My roommate goes out partying/drinking and comes back late and just goes to bed without showering or changing and she stinks up the whole room because of it (she goes partying days at a time then wakes up early to go to class so she goes days without showering). Is there a nicer way to say “You stink, please shower at least once a day?”

Roommates on Opposite Schedules

January 26, 2018
This semester I have 8 a.m. classes and have to get up pretty early to make it on time. My roommate is a night owl and often up until 4 am. I know he's trying to be as quiet as he can be, but I still get woken up at least once a night. What are some tips on living in a double with someone who has an opposite schedule? Should I talk to him about it?

My Parents Will Freak Out Over My Grade

June 16, 2017
My life sucks! I’ve been working so hard at Cal, and my parents don’t understand this isn’t high school anymore. In high school, I took hard classes, but there wasn’t nearly as much competition as here at Berkeley. They just don’t understand that I can’t get straight As anymore. They’re going to freak out if they ever see my report cards. Can I make it so they can’t see my grades? I don’t want to lie to them! Help me, please.