How do I avoid the "friend zone?"

July 17, 2014

Is there a window of opportunity to ask a girl on a date before they put you in the friend zone? I’ve never actually been on a date with a girl before, because I want to be friends/talk to them for a while to get to know them a little bit before working up the courage to ask them out. However, they usually end up saying they only think of me as a friend when I ask them eventually. Am I approaching this the right way or should I ask them out before we establish too much of a connection or what?

I don’t believe that there is a “right” way to approach anyone that you’re interested in. Not everyone approaches dating in the same way! It’s perfectly reasonable to want to get to know someone better before deciding to ask them out on a date. I don’t think there’s any harm, however, in first asking a girl to hang out with you casually without the pressure of making it a “date.” Ask her to grab lunch or yogurt with you, for example, which can be much less daunting than an actual date. This gives you both the opportunity to know each other a little better, and for you to show her what an awesome person you are. Take things at a pace you’re comfortable with and be yourself, and you’ll meet someone who really likes you for you! :)


Mama Luv wouldn’t say there is always a window of opportunity to ask a girl out. Sometimes, it depends on each individual. For instance, one girl may see you as “only a friend” from the very start while another girl may think that way after getting to know you. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to establish a connection before asking a girl out! It is also possible for a girl to see you as “more than a friend” after she’s gotten to know you! So babycakes, what Mama Luv is trying to say is that there is no formula to this. The best solution is to be yourself and do what is most comfortable for you. If you think it’s a better idea to establish a connection before going on a date, then have faith it will work out! Just make sure to keep your chin up, strut with confidence, and shake what your mama gave ya! Mama Luv is here to help.
Mama Luv

I don’t believe there is a set window of opportunity. I believe relationships can form anytime between two people regardless of the circumstances as long as they are both willing and commit to it. However, sometimes when you first meet someone there are things you should try to avoid in order to stay clear of the “friend-zone”. If you meet a girl and don’t ask her out within the first few weeks of getting to know her, she may assume you just want to be friends and move on to a different guy and/or put you in her subconscious “friend” category. So if you meet a girl and think you could like her if you got to know her better, ask her out. Instead of waiting to get to know her before you ask her out, get to know her while you take her out on dates. If for some reason you find on these dates that you could not be with her, tell her nicely; but if the dates go well and by getting to know her you found she’s great then you can now ask her to be your exclusive girlfriend and you have successfully avoided the dreaded friend zone.