Love Cafe Q&A

Struggling in my math class

July 14, 2014
I've been struggling so much in my math class. I've been to my GSI's office hours, got tutoring from friends, went to tutoring at the EECS honor society, and everything! I am still struggling and I'm afraid I might fail the class because I don't understand what's going on. Every day I walk out of class either tired or in tears.

How do I get him to stop calling me?

July 27, 2014
This is an uncomfortable situation. I think the best thing to do is to be very explicit that you do NOT want to be contacted anymore. Don’t sugarcoat anything! Let him know upfront that you are not interested and that you would like him to stop calling. If this persists to the point of making you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you should talk to the police. –Guest Barista Emily

Help! I'm in a love triangle

August 17, 2014
After getting over Guy A a few months ago, I started having feelings for Guy B. I told B my feelings for him only to find out that A and B have a semicasual relationship going on right now.

I feel hurt especially knowing that B would rather have a friends-with-benefits relationship with A than have a genuine romantic relationship with me. Have any advice on how to get over this? They are both good friends and I don't want to lose my friendship with them, but it's honestly hard to see them now.

You sound like a great person: sensitive and communicative–qualities that will serve you...

Roommate challenges

August 24, 2014
It is well into the second semester, and as my roommate and I are becoming more comfortable with each other, I am starting to notice things about her that never bothered me before. To be honest, sometimes I become so irritated that it takes all my energy to not blow up at her. What should I do?

How do I face my conservative family?

April 29, 2016
I shaved the sides of my hair this semester. I’m a girl and am nervous about my conservative family and community because I don’t know how they will react. I can always buy a wig but want to practice being more confident while sporting my new do. Any advice for helping me prepare to handle the inevitable criticism? I love my family but know that we hold very different views. Is there any way to reach a middle ground?

Q&A: Alcohol

August 31, 2014
My friends and I went to a concert but someone in our group got carried away with substance use. It’s because we care about his safety that we told him he couldn’t come with us to future outings unless he learns to control himself. He got offended and thinks we’re punishing him, and it’s frustrating. What should we do?

Cheated on my boyfriend

July 8, 2014
I cheated on my boyfriend over the summer. We've been together for a couple of years. It wasn’t intentional but it happened, and I finally told him recently, because I figured if I cared about him, I owe him the truth and should let him decide where to take things from here. But I feel so alone without him because he was my best friend. Did I do the right thing? Should I just have not told him and kept going?

Should I forgive her?

July 30, 2014
My girlfriend cheated on me and she swears it was a one-time drunken mistake. We’ve been together for 4 years. Should I forgive her? She’s never lost my trust before but I am hurt by this.

I cheated on my boyfriend

February 16, 2018
Over winter break, I cheated on my boyfriend of a couple of years. It wasn’t intentional but it happened. I finally told him recently, because I figured if I cared about him, I owe him the truth and should let him decide where to take things from here. But I feel so alone without him because he was my best friend. Did I do the right thing? Should I just have not told him and kept going?​​

Owning up to my mistakes

August 30, 2014
I’m starting to feel like I’m not owning up to my mistakes. I constantly regret it when things go wrong and my expectations fall apart. What should I do?