Love Cafe Q&A

Conflict in my friend group

October 7, 2016
Hi there! Conflicts among friends can be tough, especially if you value all of your friendships and don’t want to lose any of them in trying to save other people. First, think about what the conflict is over. If it’s something small, there might not be that much risk associated with getting involved a little bit. Having a mutual friend bring some common ground back into the issue can help a lot. If the issue is very large or you are uncomfortable getting involved, find someone who can.

Changing My Major Again

October 28, 2016
I’ve changed my major twice already and am thinking about changing it for a third time. I feel confident that I’m making the right choice this time, my only problem is that I haven’t told my parents yet. They’ve freaked out on me already for not sticking with one major and I don’t know how to bring the conversation up again. I’m nervous because I don’t want them to see me as flaky or irresponsible. How can I talk to them about it?

Regret telling my ex

March 3, 2017
So I was dating a guy from high school for around 8-9 months. We really loved and cared for each other, and we dated throughout the school year, the summer before college, and a little bit into freshman year of college. We argued a little too much, and we ended on good terms. Obviously, I was still very sad and vulnerable, so a few days after the breakup, I decided to go party and drink a lot. I ended up hooking up with a random guy and drunk-texted my ex about it. He still hasn’t forgiven me.

I Need Some Alone Time!

April 21, 2017
I am feeling burnt out right now and could use some time to myself. The problem is that I am an extrovert by nature and people have gotten used to me having my dorm room door open and just stopping by. It's already difficult enough living with so many other people, but now that the stress of the semester is high, I'm overwhelmed. What are some ideas that I can use to get some alone time?

Should I make a move?

April 1, 2016
So I haven’t dated in a while and I think I might be interested in this guy I just met in my organization. The problem is I think I’m too scared of something because I feel like I have been rejecting myself. Telling myself if he had found me attractive he would have already approached me. I feel like I’m such a fool because I haven’t tried talking to him. Maybe I’m being too hard on myself but I would like to know the guy a bit more where do I start?

Ending Things Over Political Views

February 3, 2017
I started dating this girl last semester and I really like her. We get along great, she is very supportive, she’s intelligent, and she makes me laugh which is a bonus. The thing is we have different political views on some issues happening in the world right now and can get into heated debates. I often walk away feeling like she doesn’t understand the reality of social justice needs in this country and consider removing her from my life. Are political views worth ending things over or are there better ways that we can work things out?

Can We Be More than Friends?

July 27, 2014
I have had a crush on a good friend for a few months. He recently ended a long-term relationship, and about a month later I asked him out, to which he seemed flattered and said he'd think about it. A couple of weeks later, he said he didn't think of me that way and it didn't seem like a good idea. More recently though, he seems flirty and seems like he is now crushing on me. Should I try again, or would it seem desperate? Is the "ball in his court?"

Dating at Berkeley

March 25, 2016
This is my first semester at UC Berkeley as a transfer student and I have only gone on one date so far. I realized that balancing life here is not an easy task given the academic rigor. How can I get more dates during my time here at Cal? Thanks!​

On campus during Thanksgiving

November 18, 2016
I’m going to be around campus for the Thanksgiving holiday. This is my first year at Cal and away from home. What should I expect? What is there to do?

My boyfriend and I fight often

April 16, 2016
I am really happy with my boyfriend whenever we are not fighting. We make each other laugh and smile. However, whenever we fight, it is just the worst. I know that every couple fights, but sometimes I feel like we fight too much. Moreover, I get hurt during our fights - not physically but more on an emotional level. He would say “What is your problem”, “That was a stupid reason”, “you are selfish”, or “You are cheap”. I want to feel respected during the happy times and the fighting times.