Love Cafe Q&A

Gay Hookup Culture

July 12, 2014
Gay men my age seem to only want to hook up. Why is it that no one wants a relationship these days?

Making It Official

August 10, 2014
I’ve been dating this guy for two months now and things are going well but every time I bring up the subject of finally becoming “official”, he changes topics or looks so uncomfortable that I just end up saying never mind. I’m getting frustrated now but I don’t know what to say without sounding desperate/needy. How should I approach him about this?

Too Stressed to Dress Up

March 11, 2014
I’ve been so stressed this semester that I haven’t been feeling much like a girl, as in dressing up a bit, putting on some make-up, or doing my hair. I don’t understand how others can keep up with all that despite being in the middle of midterm season. I feel gross since I don’t care about what I wear or how I look. How can I find a balance?

Should we break up?

July 23, 2014
I'm a fourth year with a girlfriend. We graduated from the same school and have been together for almost a year and it's going pretty well. We have our similarities, but we do share a few important, but no deal-breaking differences. Anyways, her major is probably the complete opposite of my major so our futures are pretty destined to go in different directions. Long distance is possible, but we realize it probably wouldn't work out. Breaking up is pretty unavoidable. Should we just break it off now or wait?

Did I pick the right school?

August 18, 2014
Sometimes I get stressed out because I feel like everybody here is a lot smarter than me. I don't feel like I deserve to be at Berkeley, no matter how much my friends try to reassure me. What do I do?

Can We Stay Friends After A Break Up?

July 24, 2014
I spent most of my college career dating this special girl I met freshman year. She was my best friend and I always thought that no matter what happened between the two of us, we would at least want to be friends. After our relationship ended, that friendship I spent years building disappeared. I want to be friends with her, but I am not sure how to make it work out. Time hasn't helped and we don't even talk anymore. Any advice would be appreciated.

A Relationship Without Labels

July 28, 2014
There's this guy- a relationship without a label. He stated he needed space after about 2 weeks and that he "liked me too much" and was scared. we decreased hanging out then we began hanging out again. I had sex with him, he was my first. since then we've been friends with benefits- but I think I like him too much and half the time we will only talk once or twice during the week. He's very distant but still treats me like I'm everything when I'm with him. What do I do, I'm confused.

Places to eat at UC Berkeley

August 22, 2014
It is essential that you have a meal plan when going into the dorms. Yes, there is a communal kitchen located in each building; however, I guarantee you that it will not replace the dining commons.

What's an acceptable level of PDA?

August 22, 2014
How do my boyfriend and I figure out an acceptable level of PDA? Initially, we had both agreed to not hold hands in public, but recently I'm getting the impression that he wants me to hold his hand/put my arm through his. I don't want to, though; how do I tell him that I don't like any PDA at all without hurting his feelings?

Best Wishes From Summer Barista Lauren!

August 23, 2014
This is my very last written blog post to you all. I am passing on the torch of being a Love Cafe barista to new, eager writers. This has truly been such an incredible experience and I am so grateful. I thought I found my niche already at UC Berkeley; however, after researching the various organizations that UC Berkeley has to offer, I realized that I have tasted only a sliver of all the amazing opportunities offered at this top university. You can sure bet that I will be signing up for new things during my last few years at UC Berkeley. Now, with only a few days left of summer before we start this chapter in our lives, I thought I would pass on a few words of wisdom to you all.