Love Cafe Q&A

Can We Be More than Friends?

July 27, 2014
I have had a crush on a good friend for a few months. He recently ended a long-term relationship, and about a month later I asked him out, to which he seemed flattered and said he'd think about it. A couple of weeks later, he said he didn't think of me that way and it didn't seem like a good idea. More recently though, he seems flirty and seems like he is now crushing on me. Should I try again, or would it seem desperate? Is the "ball in his court?"

Dating at Berkeley

March 25, 2016
This is my first semester at UC Berkeley as a transfer student and I have only gone on one date so far. I realized that balancing life here is not an easy task given the academic rigor. How can I get more dates during my time here at Cal? Thanks!​

On campus during Thanksgiving

November 18, 2016
I’m going to be around campus for the Thanksgiving holiday. This is my first year at Cal and away from home. What should I expect? What is there to do?

My boyfriend and I fight often

April 16, 2016
I am really happy with my boyfriend whenever we are not fighting. We make each other laugh and smile. However, whenever we fight, it is just the worst. I know that every couple fights, but sometimes I feel like we fight too much. Moreover, I get hurt during our fights - not physically but more on an emotional level. He would say “What is your problem”, “That was a stupid reason”, “you are selfish”, or “You are cheap”. I want to feel respected during the happy times and the fighting times.

How would you define a healthy friendship?

October 14, 2016
How would you define a healthy friendship?

On two different schedules

November 4, 2016
My roommate and I are on two different schedules. I’m up early getting ready before 8 a.m. and he tends to get back to the apartment late. Plus, he’s a night owl. He’s gotten upset with me in the past for making noise "too early” and honestly, he wakes me up at times when he’s up late at night. What can I do about this?

Already falling behind

September 9, 2016
The semester just started and I’m already worried that I’m going to fall behind in classes. It's super easy for me to get distracted so procrastination is becoming a problem. I’ve downloaded an app that blocks me from sites that I get sucked into like FB or Reddit but it’s not enough. Advice, please!

Campus Club Drama

March 3, 2014
My friend applied as an officer in a club that I am the chairman of. I thought she was decently qualified, but my co-chair said that promoting her to an officer position might cause drama in the club because it seems like we’re playing favoritism (which we kind of did slightly throughout the year.) We picked a different applicant. She was a little upset but she got over it. Fast forward 4 months, it accidentally slipped out that the reason she wasn’t picked as an officer was because we didn’t want to hurt the rep of the club. Now she’s really upset with me and she won't talk to me. She’s acting up in the club and the other officers are talking about kicking her out. I don't know how to save our friendship.

My girlfriend cheated. Can I trust her?

September 23, 2016
I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and my girlfriend and I have had what I consider a great relationship. Last week she confessed to cheating while she was home for the summer and I don’t know what to do. I try to be the best partner I can and know that she loves me but I’m mad and don’t trust her and have thought about breaking up. She says she wants to be with me but how do I know she’s telling the truth?

Am I ready to have sex?

October 7, 2016
So, to start with, I’m going to be using the term sexual debut to refer to the concept of virginity, as the term “virginity” tends to be attached to some heteronormative connotations. However, go ahead and call it whatever you feel comfortable calling it, but I prefer to use the term sexual debut because I feel that virginity is attached directly to the act of having penetrative sex, while I prefer to keep the concept of sex open-ended, and open to interpretation.