May 4, 2018
My friend is getting into a relationship and I am very happy for her but I am afraid that we will not be as close as we used to be. What should I do?
Avi:
It can be scary or sad when you feel like a friendship may change because of a romantic relationship. But try not to catastrophize the situation. Focus on things you like doing together as friends. You can always reach out to her whenever you want to hang out, but let her have her space with her partner. Just make sure you're supporting her and if you feel like she is not supporting you enough, communicate that to her.
Shawn:
There's nothing you "need to do," besides continuing to be her friend and communicating with her. You won't know for sure what will happen with the relationship so there's no reason to start acting any differently because of her status change. Consider that this change may bring you closer: She may confide in you about her relationship so maybe the two of you will grow closer! And if you do grow a little bit apart, just check up on her and reach out to her. She probably is just swept up in the honeymoon phases of her relationship. In the end, your friendship is separate from her relationship and though you might spend a little less time with her, it won't change the connection you have with her.
Angela:
The unknown can be scary, but there's also beauty in not knowing what comes next. You'll never be able to predict the future and worrying about something that hasn't happened yet can create unnecessary stress. I've been in the same position. My best friend became more distant when she got into a relationship. I was sad for the first few weeks or so. Then I decided to focus on being happy for her. Balancing relationships and friendships is hard for anyone. If your friend still tries to make time for you, then great, but if you two become distant, then talk with her. But, worrying about not being close is just an extra, unnecessary burden. You can always choose to reach out to her when you feel like hanging out. If you eventually do feel like the two of you have become too distant and you are not happy, then maybe try spending time with other people. I don't think your friend will intentionally try to distance herself, but rather, it's something that happens very often when time is devoted to a new relationship. I say talk things out with your friend and make sure she understands how you feel. Good luck!
Simran:
It’s always hard to know what will happen when a close friend enters a new relationship. Ask yourself some questions: If you were getting into a relationship, how would you balance your friendships with your new relationship? How would you want your friends to treat you and your significant other? When you think about your answers, do they help you be more empathetic towards your friend's situation? Also, try to reframe: A possible change in your friendship with her does not mean she values you any less, it means she is just trying her best to balance the important people in her life. Support your friends in their relationship and outside of it, and I’m sure the friendship will remain as tight as ever!