May 4, 2018
My friend is getting into a relationship and I am very happy for her but I am afraid that we will not be as close as we used to. What should I do?
It can be hard not being the main person in a relationship, but as long as your friend is happy, you should let her enjoy herself. You can always reach out to her whenever you want to hang out, but let her have her space with her partner. Just make sure you're always there to support her if her relationship falls through, and if you feel like she is not supporting you enough on her end, communicate clearly to her so she doesn't snub you without meaning to. Sometimes people will just move on in their lives, and then you will have to move on too.
Good for your friend! If you guys are close friends I don't see why you wouldn't continue to stay close. There's nothing you "need to do," just continue to be her friend and the rest should work itself out. You won't know for sure what will happen with the relationship anyway, there's simply no reason to act any differently because of her status change. I'd like to think that she'd confide in you her relationship problem anyways, so maybe the two of you will unwittingly grow closer! And if you do grow a little bit apart, just check up on her and reach out to her -- she probably is just swept up in the honeymoon phases of her relationship. In the end, your friendship is separate from her relationship and though you might spend a little less time with her, it won't change the connection you have with her. You'll be fine!
The unknown is always scary, but that's also the beauty of it. You'll never be able to predict the future and worrying about something that hasn't happened yet, is a burden. Trust me, I've been in the same position, but, I've also learned from my mistakes, as well. I was also afraid that my best friend would become more distant when she got in a relationship, and yes this was the case! Despite being sad and overwhelmed for the first week or so, I quickly came to the realization that I could only do so much. I could choose to be happy for her and still treat her the way I normally do, or I could be angry and put this all on her. I decided that the better option was to be happy for her. It was really difficult at first, but please try to understand that some things you might not have any influence over. If your friend is choosing how to use her time, it's her decision. if she still tries to make time for you, then great, but if you two become distant, then have a talk with her. But, worrying about not being close is just an extra, unnecessary burden. You can always choose to reach out to her when you feel like hanging out, and it's up to her to decide. If you eventually do feel like you two have become too distant and you are not happy, then maybe try spending time with other people. I don't think your friend is intentionally trying to distance herself, but rather, it's something that happens very often when time is devoted to a new relationship. I would say talk things out with your friend and make sure she understands how you feel :) If she is aware, maybe she'll keep you in mind when she's planning out what she wants to do with her time. Good luck!
It’s always hard to know what will happen when a close friend enters a new relationship. However, I think this is a scenario where the “Golden Rule” certainly applies. If you were getting into a relationship, how would you balance your friendships with your new relationship? How would you want your friends to treat you and your significant other? When you think about your answers, apply them to your situation with your friend. Also, it may seem that your friend is becoming more distant, but it isn’t because they value you any less, they’re just trying to balance the important people in their lives. Support them in their relationship and outside of it, and I’m sure the friendship will remain as tight as ever!