More than sex

November 17, 2017

How do I deal with someone that only wants to be friends with benefits, but I may want more?

 


Hi there!
I think in order to deal with this, we need to know how you know that they only want to be friends with benefits. If you think they only want to be friends with benefits based on the fact that they have never mentioned the possibility of a relationship, then I believe that you still have a chance! Go to them directly and ask what they want in a relationship and if they see themselves wanting to be in one. If they have already made their feelings clear that they don't want a relationship at the time, then I think you have to look out for want you want, and respect their decisions. If you want a relationship and he isn't willing to commit to that, then it may be time to move on. Or if you're okay with not committing to anything right now, then maybe you can keep that person in your life as a friend with benefits. 
Good luck!

Simran


I would be clear and tell that person about your intentions of wanting to be more than friends with benefits. It is hard to be friends with benefits and not grow attached to that person, especially when you already have intentions of wanting to be more. I believe friends with benefits works best in two situations. One is when both/ all parties do not intend to be more than friends with benefits, and thus agree to not develop any feelings that might alter the relationship or otherwise make things awkward. The other is when both/ all parties do not mind if feelings form, and are willing to try friends with benefits as a preliminary to a formal relationship. Think of it like a free-trial on Netflix haha! But I think all other combinations of only one party having a certain view and the other party having a different view may make being friends with benefits rather difficult. If not all parties are aware of the other’s feelings/ status, friends with benefits may actually be harmful. So remember to just be up front about everything and clear things up! 
Best, 
David