I plan to save myself for marriage

August 13, 2014

I recently entered a relationship with a guy who's not a virgin. I am, and plan to be until marriage. He knows this and says he's ok with it but also says that it's difficult for guys to control their sexual desires. We've never reached a concrete resolution to this problem, but I would love some insight on how or if you think this could still work...

You should ask him how he feels about abstaining from sex for a long time… Of course he probably won’t be very enthusiastic about the idea but may nevertheless agree to waiting for you, I’d still be wary of whether he’d be able to keep his word because resisting sexual temptation does get pretty tough for some people. Only you will know how committed you two are to each other, and if he seems promising, you should just trust his fidelity. Also, avoid becoming paranoid of him cheating on you; if you feel that this may be the case (hopefully not), make sure you gather all your facts first before pointing any fingers and don’t freak out. Best of luck to you! –Amanda

Honey, you should never let someone pressure you into sex. If you are feeling pressured, then it is not a good relationship to begin with and he is not being a good boyfriend. I’m happy that you made it clear to him, but it does sound like he wants something different. My advice would be to stick with your beliefs and morals. Tell him how much it means to you and hopefully he will come through. Best of luck, darling. –Jami