I Choose Abstinence

July 28, 2017

“I’m a virgin and want to practice abstinence, but I feel like all couples do in college is have sex. How can I find a guy who will love me for what I believe in?”


Babycakes,

It’s important to do only what makes you feel comfortable! If you want to practice abstinence, then don’t let other people’s choices affect yours. If you change your mind on your own about practicing abstinence, then that’s fine too! What Mama Luv is trying to say is: you are living your life and they are living theirs! Although it is true and natural that some guys will want to have sex with you when you’re in a relationship, please understand that the right person for you who loves you and values your opinions will respect your desire to practice abstinence. Mama Luv understands that this may seem hard to believe, but have faith that the special someone for you will care about your values. In the meantime, keep your chin up, strut with confidence, and shake what your mama gave ya! Mama Luv is here to help.

Love,

Mama Luv

While it may feel like everyone around you is sexually active, studies have shown that college students often overestimate the level of sexual activity going on among their peers, so I assure you that you are not alone in what you believe in! Statistics aside, sex is a personal decision, whether or not it’s something you’d like to participate in, and it’s ultimately up to you and only you. In all relationships, regardless of whether you want to have sex, it’s important that your partner respects your boundaries and is understanding of your choices and vice versa. If someone loves you, they will respect your values and decisions and not try to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Stay true to what you believe in, don’t change simply to make someone else happy at your own expense, and you’ll be able to find someone who loves you for you (which includes your personal values)! Good luck!

Love,

Clarissa

Despite the fact that college does seem to be filled with people who are very sexually active, there are some people, including plenty of boys, who want to practice abstinence, either for their religion, morals, or other reasons. So they are out there, you just have to be patient. When you do meet a boy and things are getting serious, it’s important to be direct and tell him that you want to practice abstinence and why. He will either stay with you or he will decide that he does not want to sacrifice that part of the relationship for you, and that’s fine, clearly he’s not worth your time anyway. So in situations like these my best advice is to make sure the boys know your stance before anything gets too serious and that you be patient, the right boy will come along sooner or later and when he comes I guarantee he will be worth the wait!

–Nicky