I cheated on my boyfriend

July 8, 2014

“I cheated on my boyfriend of a couple of years over the summer. It wasn’t intentional but it happened, and I finally told him recently, because I figured if I really cared about him, I owe him the truth and should let him decide where to take things from here. But I feel so alone without him, because he was my best friend. Did I do the right thing? Should I just have not told him and kept going?"


Admitting that you hurt someone you care about is never easy. But you’re right, he does have a right to know. Honesty and trust are important in any relationship, and continuing to hide your mistake would only have led you to feel incredibly guilty around him, and if he were ever to find out on his own, well, then you’ve not only cheated on him but also lied about it. You did the right thing by telling him and you should be proud that you didn’t take the easy way out. We all make mistakes, but owning up to them, as hard as it may be, is how we grow and prevent it from happening again. You may feel lonely now, but keep yourself busy, hang out with your friends, get more involved in your student organizations, etc. to keep your mind off of him for a while and you’ll be fine in time. :)

Love,

Clarissa

Both scenarios, the one in which you tell him and the one in which you keep this from him have their pros and cons. If you keep this discretion from him you have the pro of keeping your relationship and his company. By doing this, however, you run the risk of feeling guilty for the rest of your relationship, feeling the pressure of this secret weigh on you each time he says he trusts you, and the possibility of him finding out from another source. On the other hand, you maintain your moral compass by telling him the truth but run the risk of him breaking up with you. So which decision is best to make? The decision, which keeps your morality and honesty in check, is superior. “Honesty is the Best Policy” is a cliché for a reason. In order for a relationship to prosper it needs to be built on love, trust and honesty. Maybe take some time to reflect on why you felt the need to seek another man’s company? For now, however, enjoy catching up on old hobbies or activities, spending more time with your friends, family and most importantly yourself. This is a great time to learn more about yourself, strengthen your independence, decide what you want in future relationships, and in general, just enjoy your new single, sexy self J

–Nicky