Hooking Up When You Have A Roommate

September 15, 2017

How do I arrange bringing someone home for intimacy with my roommates?

Hi there!
First off, I think it's good to gauge your roommates' current schedules. If you can't think of a time when you were ever alone in your room for more than 5 minutes, I might suggest you try being intimate with your parter in their room if they tend to have more privacy. If that's not an option, or if you do think there are periods of time in the day when your room is free, I suggest being honest with your roommates by telling them that you will be having someone over and that you would like some privacy. Once they know that, I would ask your roommates if there's any times during the day/week when they'll both be gone for class, etc. That way they know you're willing to work around their schedule too!
Good luck!
I think how you approach this really depends on your relationship and comfortability with the roommates. If you believe your roommates will be well-receiving of this information, you might ask something like “Hey if you don’t mind, I am bringing someone over later and was wondering if you could give us some privacy for a while?". If you are not as comfortable being upfront with them about it, you could ask what their thoughts on inviting guests are, etc. and let the conversation naturally lead to the topic of bringing someone for intimacy. But even if your roommates don’t mind, it is always a good idea to give them a heads-up so they can plan accordingly. What may also help is bringing your partner during a time when your roommates are going to be out anyway. This way, your roommates won’t just be waiting to come back in, and all parties can have a peace of mind!
Hello, Hello! I would say to be straightforward and to ask them. My suggestion would be to personally ask your roommates if they are comfortable and okay with you bringing someone over for the night/day. If your roommates do not agree, then maybe ask that person you're planning to engage with, if it is possible to go to their place instead? The most important thing here is to be open. Nothing is worse than miscommunication or no communication at all. We want to be respectful of each other's space, so talking and asking questions breeds mindfulness in ourselves and of others. Also, asking your roommates about bringing someone over for intimacy ensures that relationships within the house/apt/dorm, isn't tainted due to awkwardness. It could also be helpful if you and your roommate set up a code word or times in which you would engage with your other partner. This way you are cognizant of your roommate's time and space. Good luck! :)