Connection Cafe - Do My Boyfriend and I Have Enough in Common?

August 15, 2014

I love my boyfriend. But besides school work and work, we don’t really have much in common. We don’t know what to talk about. I feel as if we’re still friends. Is this normal?

It’s not unusual for couples to have little in common besides school and work. If you want to have more things to talk about, do some fun activities in your free time together, such as taking a hike or going on a night tour on Alcatraz. And when you guys don’t want to go out or have time to, rather than sit around and study quietly, engage in activities that won’t revolve around the topics of school and work, like cooking a new recipe together. However, if having fun or making conversation feels forced, think about why you love him. Are you drawn to him because you find his personality intriguing? Or because he provides you comfort in familiarity for sharing a similar school and work life? Whatever the reason, consider whether it is enough to have you continue loving and being interested in him in the long run (and vice versa). Otherwise, if you foresee nothing ahead but a mundane relationship together, it would be a good time to voice your concern and see if talking it out will help, if nothing else will.


The first thing you want to ask yourself is: what kind of relationship are you looking for? Are you looking for the type of relationship in which the two of you can do everything together? Or do you want to feel comfortable in love with your best friend? The most important question to ask yourself is, are you happy? If you’re happy with the relationship, then it is perfectly fine! If you’re not, it might be a good idea to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him Best of luck darling.


Maybe you guys could work to develop something you guys have in common. Try doing “couple activities” together. Train for a fun 5k run together, start hiking together, go to more movies and plays, get into painting or photography! Maybe you’ll find that you have more in common than you think!



It’s understandable that you can love your boyfriend even though you two do not share similar interests. However, Mama Luv feels that the more important question to ask is - do you love him as a boyfriend or as a friend? If the answer is the latter, then it is possible that you see him more as a friend. Perhaps he feels the same way, so the best solution is to ask him if the feelings are mutual. In the meantime, make sure to keep your chin up, strut with confidence, and shake what your mama gave ya! Mama Luv is here to help.

Love, Mama Luv