Connection Cafe - Do I Stay in the Bay After Graduation?

April 13, 2018

I’m graduating this May and I really want to stay in the bay area. I’m happy here since all my friends are here and I just love the area. But my parents really want me to go back to the east coast. I’m looking at job options and everything that I’m interested in is in the bay, but I don’t want to disappoint my parents either since I do care about them. Any thoughts?

If you have found your home here in the Bay Area, then you should stay. You seem to have compiled a respectable list of reasons you should stay, which considerably outweighs your list of reasons to leave, which seems to be comprised only of your parents' wishes. Remember, your life is yours to live, so prioritize what you think is best for you and your future, not the desires of others, including your parents! Consider the reasons why your parents want you to go to the East Coast and compare them to the reasons you want to stay in the Bay Area. choose the route you think is best suited for you personally. Pursuing your interests will not make you a disappointment to your family. Don't forget your decision doesn't have to be permanent. Visiting your parents is always an option while continuing your life in the Bay Area. Don't leave behind good opportunities just because your parents miss you. Good luck.


Hi there! 
I can understand why you want to stay here. Berkeley, and the greater Bay Area, has been your home these past few years and you’ve gotten comfortable with the area and made a lot of great relationships. However, there are perks that could come with moving back to the East Coast as well, including having a familial support system and not having to deal with the Bay’s housing crisis! Apply to jobs in both areas and see what doors open to you. Your family and friends love you a lot and will be supportive no matter where you end up. 
Good luck! 

I think a few years ago I would have struggled to give a definite answer to this. But now? I feel that the answer changes with you and what you decide to prioritize. Ultimately it is your life and you get to make your choices, mistakes, and your very own happy story out of it. It seems to me that emotionally and practically speaking, the Bay area is already calling out to you as the better option! Knowing that you care about your family I'm sure you'd call them and visit too. There are ways to compromise and make the best of your choice no matter what you choose. Just don't forget that this is YOUR life. Best wishes! 


Hello! I will definitely let your parents know how you feel. They want you back home on the East Coast, but would that be best for your personal happiness and career-wise? I think you know the answer to that better than anyone else. :) It can be difficult to let them down lightly, but remember, you are still learning how to become even more independent post-grad and you ultimately make all of the final decisions. Your parents won't be mad or disappointed that you don't want to go back to the East Coast; In fact, I think they would be even more disappointed to see you not happy because you don't have your close group of friends around/dream job. Sometimes, it's you first, and in my opinion, this definitely seems like one of those times! Your parents will always support you, even if you decide on staying on the West Coast. They might question it at first, but they will come to realize that it's best for you in the immediate and long run. I think your parents are also really missing you. Coming to the other side of the country for college may have been difficult for them. You might even consider taking a month or two off to spend time with your family before starting your job (if you decide to stay in the Bay). There are many options that you can take and none of them are wrong or will result in something negative. Take some time to talk things out with your parents!