Connection Cafe - Do Gay Men Only Want to Hook Up?

July 12, 2014

Gay men my age seem to only want to hook up. Why is it that no one wants a relationship these days?

There are a lot of young gay men that feel the way that you do. Sometimes, young gay men, who are just trying to figure things out or have recently come out, do not feel ready to commit to something more serious or are just wanting to explore. Sometimes, young gay guys use sex as a form of validation because they have not received a lot of authentic validation for being gay growing up. BUT, they are many young gay guys who do want to be in a relationship. Finding other gay men you’re into can be hard in general given that we’re such a minority but a lot of gay men who are interested in relationships find luck with sites like OkCupid. I find most gay guys on there are looking for something more serious and there are lots of them!

–a young gay guy

There are a lot of people these days who are only interested in physical relationships. It’s because we are young and are just getting to know ourselves and are now experimenting with our sexuality. Some people believe getting emotionally attached at such a young age is a waste since we should be using this time to experiment rather than be in long term relationships. After all, we have the rest of our lives to be in a long term relationship with our future significant other. That being said, there are some instances in which exceptions can and should be made. Once one finds that special person who they just love being with and can’t get enough of that person that’s when the idea of an exclusive relationship suddenly becomes more appealing. In essence, you can’t necessarily be looking for long term relationships with someone, they have to form naturally from both of your undeniable feelings for the other. The relationships that happen when you least expect them are arguably one of the most romantic and special.