Connection Cafe - Can We Stay Friends After A Break Up?

July 24, 2014

I spent most of my college career dating this special girl I met freshmen year. She was my bestfriend and I always thought that no matter what happened between the two of us, we would at least want to be friends. After our relationship ended, that friendship I spent years building disappeared. I want to be friends with her, but I am not sure how to make it work out. Time hasn't helped and I we don't even talk anymore.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Break ups are hard, especially when they were not only your partner but your best friend. I am always an advocate for ex’s to stay friends; however, enough time has to pass from the break up first. If you were to continue hanging out with your ex immediately after your break up, the feelings you have for them aren’t going to go away. They are going to stay there and interfere with your healing process as long as you keep seeing them and hanging out with them like nothing happened. In order for a successful friendship, you need to get completely over them and then become their friend. I understand this is hard since you feel like their friendship has been a huge part of your life for years, but it is time to either find new ones or strengthen the ones you have with other people. If you do that and truly get over your ex, then a friendship with them can be very possible. You can just shoot them a text or a phone call once you know you’re ready and ask if they want to go to lunch or something casual.



It’s unfortunate that two people in a friendship-turned-relationship can no longer have a friendship when the relationship is over. Mama Luv is happy that you still want the friendship but is unsure about how your ex-girlfriend feels about this situation. The best solution is to get in touch with your ex and bring up the possibility of being friends again to see if she actually wants to. If she does, then it’s possible to overcome the post-relationship issues and be friends. Honey, please remember to just be honest so that all issues are out and no feelings will be hurt later! Regardless of what happens, keep your chin up, strut with confidence, and shake what your mama gave ya! Mama Luv is here to help.

Mama Luv