Annoying roommate

July 10, 2014

I am extremely annoyed with my roommate. I don’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her all the things I’m annoyed about but I also can’t imagine continuing to live like this. What should I do?

It depends on what kinds of things she does that are annoying you, and whether you feel that they are worth bringing up. Either way, you have two choices: 1) not bring them up and just learn to live with the things that are bothering you, or 2) find a way to tactfully communicate with your roommate about what is bothering you. Generally, it’s more than possible to let someone know what’s bothering you without being aggressive or harsh. For example, it’s her living habits that bother you (never washing her dishes, playing loud music while you’re trying to sleep, leaving her things on your side of the room, etc.), try to find a time to set some roommate policies with her to make your living situation easier. This way, she also has an opportunity to voice her concerns if she has any and you can come together to create the best living situation. Make sure to use “I” statements (“I would really like if we could do our dishes before going to bed” as opposed to “you should really stop leaving your dirty dishes in the sink”) so you don’t sound too aggressive or accusatory. Just be polite, calm, and receptive to what your roommate has to say as well. Best of luck to you!



Living with a roommate can definitely be tough since you two may have conflicting lifestyles. It is very common to have roommate issues! To resolve these issues without any feelings hurt, Mama Luv would suggest bringing it up as a discussion rather than confrontation. Overall, do you enjoy living with your roommate? If so, start off with how much you appreciate her as a roommate and find her a fun person to live with. Then, lead into the issues with a nice tone. For instance, if your roommate is being loud while you’re sleeping, you can tell her that you’re a light sleeper and that you would really appreciate it if she can try being a bit quieter. Just be sure to avoid making these issues sound like a personal attack! The best solution is to address it as a certain behavior that is causing you trouble, rather than your roommate’s personality. And babycakes, don’t forget to open the discussion to how you can be a better roommate as well! In the meantime, keep your chin up, strut with confidence, and shake what your mama gave ya! Mama Luv is here to help.
Mama Luv